look, and see

it felt sacred and calming to sit in the presence of beulah jodrie. scary too, just a little. i respected her fiercely and wanted so badly for her to notice me, or more correctly my writing. when she received her phd in creative writing from brown university in 1978 she opted for no pomp and circumstance, but we in her 3:00 class decided to mark the occasion anyway, a single red rose from each of us, 7 in all. she was quiet and humbled and we didn't say anything more, we just moved on.



dr. jodrie was a small woman with a thick silver topknot and glasses that made her blue eyes look bigger than they were. easily in her 60's, she wore skirts with the waistband riding high on her belly, crisp white blouses, a brooch at her neck, and always a shawl. kneesocks or dark green tights and a faithful pair of wallabees completed her outfit . she spoke with a sway in her words as they all do in the white mountains of new hampshire.



one of her standing assignments for all aspiring writers was to keep a journal that she would read every so often, and return with red notes in the margins, in perfect script. for the first two semesters she struggled to teach me "STOP writing about YOU and about what you think! look around and write about what you SEE, and tell us what you think about that. not the other way around!"



two black men in black shirts stood waist high in the water of lake nokomis this afternoon. they smiled and beckoned to the people on shore - some of whom wore flowing white scarves. others held hands as they watched, or held each other, or babies and children, and they were all smiling. a few waded into the water with hands folded in prayer. "i baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. amen"



on the other end of the lake 4 blue school buses were parked on the street and half on the curb. tiny flags and balloons of all colors were jumping in the breeze, and children were everywhere. the most lovely thing of all, 6 little girls in burlap sacks, lined up in a tidy row, and when the guy in the white shirt say "GO!", they started hopping backwards towards the finish line. one tiny girl with a pink shirt hopped into first place. she had a thousand perfect black braids, each fastened with small white ribbons and as she hopped and hopped her hair flounced like a cheerleaders pom pom.



oh dr. jodrie, it has been more than 3o years. but when i write, i often think of you and of the last notes you left in my journal. you had tried for 2 years to get me to see things that were not about me, but about how life is,and about how life looks when you stop to notice it. you said



"bravo! you have finally got it!"



i feel your spirit still.