pantookas and wuzzles

I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, And that enables you to laugh at life's realities. - Dr. Seuss

maybe that is what is wrong with me. i am looking at life through the wrong end of the telescope and up until just this moment i haven't thought any of it was very funny.



lies are told and surprises are scary instead of fun and things i can't reach are missing. important things are being scooped up and out of my control and the can of folgers is getting down there. no budget for more, though.



so is any of this funny after all? absurd certainly. i try to be the one who sees the humor in odd things so perhaps i should enjoy all this.

nothing else is working anyway.

nonsense yes! it's all nonsense!

so perhaps i am in whoville and bartholamew cubbins is my best friend and i should ask horton to listen extra close to hear all of the things i can't. might be fun to gossip with that big ol' cat over lunch sometime this week.



and of course, you know what we are having.

please hold

the woman i was sitting next to in class today apologized for the fact that the articles she was to read for homework last month were wrinkled and stiff. she explained

i take a bath every day after work.

when she was relaxing in her bath last night, reading provactive articles about the art of leading quietly, her telephone wrang.

she has a 15 year old son with downs syndrome named keith.

hello this is keith. no, she's naked in the bathtub right now.

she panicked, dropped her papers, splashed and shouted from a clenched throat but before she could get anything out...

i'll put you on speaker and take you in there.

she told me about the lecture she gave him -

what you did was NOT ok! you need to respect mom's private time! you must never embarass someone like that!

she was exasperated.

but it made me laugh. i told her

that is the most adorable story i've ever heard in my life.

she burst into a smile and said

i know, right?!

depression hurts

i'm in slump. a deep one. the country has a chance to heal, the sun is up a bit longer each day, my windshield washer system is working great and i have a perfect manicure.

what the hell.

maybe it's about turning 50, maybe it's about work, maybe i need a new dog or a fancy sweater, several days off or some cake.

i am not liking this slump. being in a slump used to conjure images of late night piles of blankets and television, justified apathy and comfortable messiness. after all who can do laundry, dust, or put stuff away when you are in a slump?

but this one feels uncomfortable and fat. like the pants that are too tight after the holidays or the depressing light in the kitchen when the bulb over the sink goes out.

something is not right about this slump all right, but the wrongness of all it brings up is worse than the not right part. i am not enjoying this slump at all. it is definitely not what they described in the flyer.

FREE SLUMP!

enjoy an undetermined amount of time feeling really sorry for yourself and wallowing in your uselessness! cradle your worthless soul in the cool flicker of late night infomercials! buy incredibly stupid products that you will never use but are too lazy to return!

• clean pajamas, sheets, and hair not required.
• join now and receive ceaselss encouragement to eat as much of anything you want all the time.
• call in the next five minutes and we will call in sick to work for you every day for as long as the slump continues.

CALL NOW!!!!

now seriously,

who could resist that?

i should've

an injured pigeon was hunkered down on the G level of my parking ramp last monday. it may have been a dove, it had a beak more like a dove, but anyway there it was. i was in a hurry to get home and had my hands full when i almost tripped on it. poor thing was trembling and terrified and in the path of a car that hadn't come yet. but a car would come soon. it would careen down the ramp and not see that pretty crying bird and that car's front right uniroyal would end things.

hopefully quickly but maybe not.

i stopped and talked to it

hey buddy, you don't feel well do you? listen you need to move or else...

at that moment a blue yukon going way too fast roared down the ramp

and missed the bird by about an inch.

ok dude that't it you have to move.

i leaned down and it panicked, which was a good thing because it started to hop and hop and hop -- it hopped out of harms way, off to the side, to a dark safe spot.

on the drive home i felt guilty. the bird was out of the way but it was going to be cold that night. oh well, i am sure she'll be fine.

and then i thought

how long would it have taken me to go back up to my office, put some shredded paper in a box, and at least place her there, if not drop her off at the raptor center which was on my home anyway.

but i didn't do that.

she froze to death over night

and she was just a bird,

but i am disappointed with myself any way.

lesson?

i am too old to be regretting things i didn't do and should have.

so if my heart tells me to do something...

well then there you have it.