walker nazis

brother jim, who lives in a small finnish town in michigan had his hip replaced yesterday. a blessed procedure for a tall strong man who hasn't been able to live up to his 6 foot 4 stature for some time, as the pain in his old hip has kept him crouched for ages.

he and his lovely wife, dee, left their cozy home at the onset of a great plains blizzard the night before last armed with clean underwear and a walker which the lion's club of kaleva graciousl loned him. he will need it for a month.

tsk tsk

the pt lady told him.

this walker won't do. no wheels. you need wheels. perhaps you would like to purchase a newer model - here's our catalogue. for $120 you can have state of the art contraption with wheels.

no thanks,

they said.

we'll rent one. after all it is only for a month.

two hours later after a snowy drive across town, dee left jim comfy in the car while she went into the rental palace for just a sec. be right back. won't be long.

it would have been simpler to take out a second mortgage. miles and piles of paperwork asking for everything from insurance info (insurance was not paying for this) to next of kin to favorite colors and two copies of his fifth grade report card, dee was ready to grab the walker and run.

i'm sorry

the rental czar said,

i need his signature on these forms. could you ask him to come in?

no, he can't come in, he can't walk. he needs the walker.

well i can't give you the walker till he signs these forms.

lady impossible finally got the bright idea to take the paperwork out to the car, where jim was sighing in anticipation of agony as the pain killers started to wear off.

sir, we just need to go over a few things. terms and conditions you know.

jim held his ground.

NO he said, i just had my hip replaced and i am OUTA here.

he signed the forms and off they went with their walker with wheels.

no sooner home than the phone rang. it was the walker nazi again.

sir we need a social security number and an emergency contact. preferabley a child or sibling.

you can't have my social security number for a $20 rental, lady, i have no children and my brother lives in minneapolis.

we'll take your brothers contact info, sir.

all for a $20 rental.

jim is napping peacefully in his own bed about now, and dee has her feet up with a glass of wine.

the fancy walker with wheels is ready for action.

getting old is bad enough.

who knew there would be so much paperwork?

i do hope the walker nazis call mike in case of a walker emergency.

they've got our number.

funny thing is

we've got theirs. too.